Most people around me don't know that I can't see. Most people that I know, that are following this, are going to be surprised to find out, that I can"t see. I am not blind actually, it is just I can't see. Complicated huh? I'll complicate it more as I explain it.
I have Diabetes. A few years ago, I went to the eye Doctor to get new contacts. I knew the ones that I had were about 2-3 years old. Things were pretty foggy by now, not surprised. What did surprise was, this crazy little eye Doctor told me that my eyes were bleeding, but it "wasn't a big deal". He gave me a new prescription and sent me on my way. Thank God, Charles seen the same crazy man, got new glasses, and off we went. Since our eyes had been dialated, we really didn't notice that we couldn't see out of our new lenses. But the next day was a different story.
I got up, feeling like I had 2 different prescriptions, but thought I would wait a few days to 'let my eyes adjust". (knowing quit well, there should never be any adjustment period) I didn't say anything to Charles, and come to find out, he was having the same problem, and not saying anything to me. FInally, after a week, I told him I could not see out of my contacts correctly, and he told me he was having the same problem - - it was like having 2 different lenses. I called and and when I told the gentlemen that I was also concerned that this Doctor told me I had bleeding in my eyes, but it wasn't a big deal, they told me to come right away.
The new female Doctor examined me, and told me I had bleeding in both eyes, which was "diabetic retinopathy", and my prescription was completely off. She gave me temporary contacts because she referred me to a specialist for diabetics, and thought I would need Lazer Treatments which might change my vision again. She then seen Charles, and again, his prescription was completely changed, and he got new glasses. Yes, we both complained, and found out there were numerous complaints about this doctor, and that they had to redo so many prescriptions that they didn't even have to fire him, he quit!
I got right in and found out I did have numerous spots that needed Lazer Treatments for Diabetic Retinopathy to stop the bleeding. I went back in 6 weeks, and my Doctor had gone, but the new Doctor that I seen, I explain to him the fogginess was still there, and that I could not open my eyes in the sun or bright lights at all. NOW, it's cataracts! Both eyes. So, over the next 6 weeks, I would have both of those removed. That wasn't bad at all, not like it was years ago, where you had to wear patches and all. (Surprise, Charles had to have Cataracts removed after I did as well!)
As time went on though, my vision started to get blurry again, and all these wavy lines started to appear on my right side. My left side, was more blurry, with double vision. I was referred back to the specialist for Macular Degeneration. I was way too young for this, and why was this all happening, one thing right after another? I was really scared my vision was going, and going quickly.
I finally got to the specialist. A new Doctor, who seemed right out of school. He was very calming, but told me there was water, built up behind my eye. I guess that is where the "wet' or "dry" come from when you hear WMD or DMD...and there was a lot of scar tissue in my right eye. This is what was causing all the waves in my vision. It looks like one of the mirrors in a fair that makes you tall, short, skinny or fat. Anyway, there was a treatment that was a small dose of a drug called "Avastin". It is a chemotherapy drug, but they just injection a small dose into your eye, basically to dry it up.
Sadly, there is nothing they can do for the scar tissue, but they have had great success with stopping the progression of the disease. How could you say no to that? I made an appointment for the following week.
Charles took me to my appointment, and as much as he does not like needles, he loves me even more. Bless his heart, he went into the room with me while they gave me the injection. No, you don't get put to sleep, and no, you aren't given anything to calm you down, though the great Doctor I had did joke with me telling me HE took the valium before he came in to do the work. ha ha!
They cover your face with a small cover, leaving your eye exposed. Used some type of gadget that holds your eye open, clean all around your eye very, very well. Then they inject numbing medication into your eyeball. After waiting a few minutes to make sure everything is good and numb, they then inject the medication. All you feel really is the pressure. Sounds horrible, I know..but it was worth every nail biting moment. The nurses and the Doctor were great, and just knowing that Charles was right there...priceless!!
Now...that night, was a different story. I guess I was supposed to keep my eye shut afterwards, but I didn't hear that part of it. I guess I was so excited on how painless it was...WAS being the operative word. OMG!!! I felt like I had ground up glass in my eye!!! Keeping it closed wasn't good enough to stop the pain, because if you just moved your eyeball, it was horrible! No, horrible doesn't come close to how I felt. I was so very, very thankful that I had pain medication, and ativan so I could just go to bed, and sleep it off. But..yeah, there is always a but right...the next morning, my eye ball looked like I got into the biggest bar fight, and LOST!!! It was fire engine red!! Poor Charles, everywhere we went, people would glare at him as if he punched me! It took a few dirty, glaring looks before I realized they thought he did it. At the time, his Mother was in the Nursing Home, and we went there almost every night. So the nurses there knew us very well. When I walked in there....if looks could kill!!! They didn't even bother to ask me what happened, they just glared at him. He finally had to start telling people what happened, because this lasted over 30 days. ha ha!! I felt horrible for him.
So, back to the beginning of this story. The injection worked to dry up the fluid that was causing the damage, which we are very thankful for, but the scar tissue remains and causes all the wavy lines on the right side of my vision. The left side of my vision is doubled and blurry. What I can see though, is far away..and I can see it very well! So, reading is a huge problem for me.
When I do read, it needs to be large, and not move, so that I can move my head to compensate for the waves. If it moves, I basically have to start over, finding my place. I cannot read a phone book what so ever....no matter what size the reading glasses are. (or anything else that is the same size print) SO, for the people that know me, and have wondered why I don't read in public, this may answer some of your questions. OR, if you have waved at me, and you thought I had ignored you..NOPE...couldn't see you. I think you get the idea.
But...here is the last but....I am going to a doctor this week who thinks he can make glasses that might...just might be able to help me read!! At least long enough that I don't feel like I am getting motion sickness, headaches, etc. It is the most encourageing news I have had for years when it comes to me seeing and reading again. I really miss reading my books.
So, I am keeping my fingers crossed, but not getting my hopes up too much. I can type on the computer, because the screen doesn't move, and I can make it the size I want..though I do make a lot of mistakes...but I have gotten over that. I decided I would tell others, just incase there is someone other than me going through this as well.
There is hope...every step of the way....
And, if the worst does happen, I guess Charles will get his wish of getting a white Shephard..except this one will be a service dog...oh..I guess this IS what he wanted. ha ha!
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